This is going to be an unpopular thing to say.
This is going to be an unpopular thing to say:
You do NOT ‘create your own reality,’ simply by your thinking.
This ‘you create your own reality’ implies that if I don’t like my reality, I can simply think my way out of it, and it’s my fault for making it this way in the first place.
But I crossed over into spirituality from science, and I don’t just readily accept these truisims that float about.
This one seemed like a lot of magical thinking. Also, try telling this to someone who wasn't born with privilege, and you can see how ridiculous and shaming this is.
In practice, this phrase is another way to make us feel bad about ourselves.
Beat ourselves up.
Because it’s saying that if we don’t have what we want, we simply didn’t police our brain enough or think the right thoughts to manifest it.
This is HOGWASH. Horseshit.
AND it’s actually HARMFUL.
Policing your brain or trying to force yourself to think the ‘right’ thoughts is a form of self-hatred.
We cannot control what happens in our life or our immediate emotional responses to it.
Now let’s be clear: I’m not advocating the other extreme: victim mentality - where you have no power agency, or responsibility for your life and everything has been done ‘to’ you.
The point is: both of these ignore our interdependence. It is both ourselves and the complex web of life circumstances that are at play.
And: YES, it DOES help to notice our prevailing patterns of thinking, create conscious intentions, find sources of energy, inspiration, and build the resolve and resources to help pull ourselves out of downward depressive thought spirals.
We can do this from a place of KINDNESS to ourselves.
The grain of truth in this saying is that we CAN choose how we relate to circumstances arising in our life. And we can choose where we put our attention. For example: we can bemoan hard things, or see the learning in them (or both!).
And this is very powerful.
However, it’s not because we don’t ‘think the right thoughts’ that we don’t ‘manifest’ our dreams.
I’ve actually made happen a number of important achievements in my life while being extremely pessimistic and doubtful.
ALSO: Achieving our dreams requires ACTION.
And an understanding that we are not solitary actors - we are embedded in a larger web of causes and effects.
So: yes, turn your intention, your thoughts, your actions toward pro-actively working for your dreams.
But beating ourselves up over our thoughts or thinking it’s our fault if we don’t perfectly control our life is counter-productive.
It can cause us to push away anything we deem “dark”, to contract, cave in on ourselves, and to criticize others.
It can cause us to put a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure on ourselves.
The road to freedom, health, and happiness though, lies in accepting the reality of how we think and feel, relating to ourselves with compassion, and acting not from fear but from love.
When are some times you have been able to do this?