When was the last time you looked for god in your woman’s eyes?
(It doesn’t have to be so esoteric: everyone sees the endless depths of the universe in the eyes of babies, for example. So whatever you call THAT - when was the last time you looked for this in your partner?)
When was the last time you saw her, REALLY saw her?
I’m not talking about the outside.
I’m talking about her deep inner beauty. Her feminine essence and all her life experiences that have shaped her. How she carries herself.
Do you celebrate her for being a woman and appreciate the wisdom of all of her seasons, or do you find her cycles and moods irritating? Do you look for the messages her body has to give you, the insight into you and your life, or do you dismiss the feminine as unreliable and irrational?
A lot of men want to know how to ‘make’ their female partner want them more.
You can’t make her do anything. Once that energy is present, you’ve...
You may think you don’t feel powerful anywhere. But look where you don’t normally look. For example:
Chopping wood, carrying heavy things
Powerful by your intellect,
Power in your finely-tuned awareness
Your ability to to be kind
The power in your body to give pleasure as a lover
We were taught not to celebrate ourselves, not to claim power, lest we lose ourselves to pride.
Well, use your discernment: don’t lose yourself.
Now, where do you feel powerful?
Power doesn’t have to come from not putting anyone else down. That is a brittle power, dependent on external sources. Lasting power comes from within. For example: knowing your own worth, delight in your body’s vitality, strength, and ability to take care of someone, and the power to give your lover SO much pleasure with the male body.
In tantrik psychology, one of the realms we get stuck in is “hell realm”, the essence of which is victimhood, which...
My clients often tell me carry many heavy responsibilities - supporting the family, stuck in a job they don’t like, mortgage, caring for their parents, spending all their free time transporting the kids around…
There’s not enough time to sleep, much less to make love with your partner like you both used to love.
Sometimes the desire to be free is achingly loud, and you want to run away.
Where is there space for you?
Pushing away, running away, won’t get you freedom.
And it might very well get you loneliness instead.
How do you find this sense of freedom you are yearning for then?
What if I said that the only way out is through?
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"Self-love is just an excuse for self-indulgence and laziness."
I also bristle at this ubiquitous term that seems to be the salve for any and everything.
It evokes images of "there, there," and lazing around.
How can self-love be the answer when really what we need is to be smart, capable, prepared, hard-working, and strong...all that just to barely keep our heads above water, where the only thing left standing between us and total overwhelm is that beloved coffee we have a death grip on.
Throw self-love in there and it seems like the whole carefully balanced insanity show would simply collapse.
Self-love seems soft. Or maybe just for women.
Definitely not for men.
But really, what IS the difference between self-love and self-indulgence?
Actually, self-love is the opposite of self-indulgence.
We haven't been taught that it's okay to take care of ourselves.
We've only been taught to consume - that is, indulge - as a way of honoring our human animal.
Think about it - did you ever receive any offici...
Sometimes I have the honor of working with people who have never before in their life considered talking about sex, love, and relationships with a stranger.
From a client:
"I'm so grateful for you. I feel like I can speak completely frankly with you. You create a really comfortable environment for this work. There isn't anyone else in my life who I can talk about these things with."
When something isn't working, we often think it's our fault.
That's because we've been sold the myth that once we find 'the one', it's supposed to all be a perfect fairytale.
This is a harmful lie.
The truth is, very few of us were taught ANYTHING about how to have healthy relationships and fulfilling sex lives.
We educate ourselves in every other aspect of our lives - it's admirable to learn calculus, study great poetry, learn to drive, build rockets, program computers - but learning how to relate?
And when it comes to the sexual parts of our bodies, ou...